Am I Awkward?

Last night was my annual office holiday party. You know, the time of the year that office employees love to hate. Being that I just started working at my office job in September this was my first ever office party and you know what… It was so awkward.

IMG_0039Honestly, I’m not sure what it was. Maybe that is just how Christmas parties are… I really wanted to use the party as an opportunity to better get to know my co-workers. It’s difficult in the work place to get personal but I figured with some alcohol, food and Christmas decorations I could take some good steps towards turning a co-worker into a friend. Sadly not the case.

Bree (pictured above) is probably my closest friend in the office. We share the same space so we chat a lot and know a lot about each others lives. Sadly, she had to leave pretty early so I was flying solo. I attempted to make small talk with people who I don’t really know from a different department but those conversations lasted maybe 3 minutes each. With both parties weirdly staring into their drinks until one of us had the guts to say “anyway, nice meeting you”…

Then I spent some time with my own department. I spend everyday with these people but I can’t even list on one hand the things that I know about their personal lives. For me this is weird, I am a friendly-open person. With my own department we tookIMG_0038 some very forced “fun” photo booth pictures and then I lingered on the outside of inside joke conversations… Thank goodness I had a glass of wine to sip on. It filled many silences.

Then after the band played (also awkward) my boss told me that it is a tradition to do yager bomb shots in her office with the Development department. Trying to fit in I opted to join. First things first, yager is disgusting. Second, I was still awkwardly lingering on the outside of conversations but this time with a disgusting drink in hand.

Eventually Lucas arrived to endure the torture of the office party with me. He was actually really sweet. He dressed in a nice outfit. He shook everyone’s hands. He took a lame picture with me at the photo booth. And he sat with me and played trivia until it was an appropriate time for us to bail. IMG_0044At the end of the day I’m not sure if it was the awkwardness of the office party or if it was just me. Probably both. Hopefully both. In my non-work life I have a super solid group of amazing friends and realistically I don’t need my co-workers to be my friends and yet I still find myself asking the question… Am I Awkward?

Share in the comments! Was your office Christmas party as awkward as mine?


3 thoughts on “Am I Awkward?

  1. I know exactly what you went through that night.

    Last Friday we had our Christmas party. I’m actually in a similar situation. I’m new to that job (but already gone, though), I’m young and I don’t know much about my coworkers.

    So it happened, that I forced myself into conversations. But it still was very different to parties with “self-chosen” friends.

    I guess it’s pretty normal to feel that way. Especially when you wanna make a good impression. But trust me, you’re not awkward, but the situation is. 🙂


    • I completely agree Jonas. Sometimes I wonder if it wouldn’t be easier to save the money spent on the party and instead just give the whole company an extra day off during the holidays. It would have saved me a lot of stress and anxiety that’s for sure.


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